Let me tell you why I suck as a person.

My brother Chris is on his way to Japan. He will arrive at Osaka Itami International Airport at 8:15 PM on Saturday – in 18 hours.  I won’t be there to pick him up, because I accidentally promised a couple of students I would have drinks with them.  I am actually unable to cancel those plans.

That is not a joke.  The school manager, astutely aware of any of my fraternization with my students, specifically asked me to meet them at the school, since one of them wasn’t able to pay for his classes yet.  It would actually cost my school thousands of dollars if I cancel my plans, during a difficult time of year financially for English schools.

Chris will be picked up by Yuu Koyama.  One can only imagine how exhausted Chris will be, lugging huge bags around the world while trying to flip his sleeping schedule upside down.  But instead of going to my apartment to sleep, Chris has to go into Osaka to our friend Koichi’s Christmas Party.  This is happening across a metro region of which he doesn’t speak the language or have a phone or know how to use a taxi.  This is not Yuu’s or Koichi’s fault, but mine.  For the record, I am also panicked that he is bringing my Lebanese Zathar bread and American hot sauce to a party packed with Westerners.

As for Yuu, I’ve made him do all this on his birthday.  Earlier today I already embarrassed him by accidentally having him call the internal staff line of my school, attempting to sign him up for trial lessons, which aren’t even available for a month.

My prediction for tomorrow:

Chris is going to be lost, his possessions will disappear, my family will disown me, the branch will go broke, I’ll be fired, and I’ll miss and ruin both Yuu’s birthday and Koichi’s Christmas party.  The worst part is, instead of working hard to make sure this goes smoothly, or working out a better, more efficient, and easier plan, I’m sitting here writing this blog entry.  What an asshole!

To think, this all started because I was too lazy to write down Chris’s arrival date on my calendar.

And yet, when I asked Yuu to help me in my hour of need, he did so without a second thought (but with a translation app):

And when I told Chris at length of the terrible burdens I’ve put him through, he responded only with the total glee I’d expect from a Godzilla fan on his way to Japan:

“We dropped him off he was so excited if was unbelievable [the dogs] tom and cookie came too” – my mother, also on Facebook Messenger.

I’ve got three peas in a pod, and I’m in for an awesome weekend. Merry Christmas to all!

Thanks for reading.  You can probably follow up on these events at my friend Rob’s blog (www.robmilchling.com), since he is much better than me at posting on schedule.